"That Old Woman"

The other day, someone made a reference to “that old woman”. As I read the correspondence, I wondered for a moment to whom the person was referring. And then I realised that it was me! WOW!

“That old woman”!

I had never thought of myself in that way before. As I muse on it, I realise that I accept that “label” as simply that – a label that someone has placed on me. It is not my reality, unless I choose to make it so. And if I choose it, then I can define it however I want.

What does being an “old woman” mean? Here I could go into how society has categorised old women. But I won’t even go there, for that is not my truth. What I will explore is my own experience.

I know some “old women”. I love and admire these women. My mom, soon to be 90 is one of them. My Aunt Clara, who celebrated her 96th birthday in April, is another. The 80-something year old Etta, mother of a friend. These women live their lives as they wish. My mom lives alone, runs her own household, entertains, travels, does yoga, is always perfectly groomed from coiffed hair to painted toenails and at all times beautifully dressed. She calls herself “the matriarch”. Her children love her as their mother, friend, confidante. Her grandchildren adore her. Her nieces consider her their own mom. Her friends are numerous, spanning age, geography and gender and love her totally. Her life is full.

My Aunt Clara voraciously entertains her friends of all ages in the most elegant and loving manner. She it is who invites my mom to cocktail receptions, to tea, to the gaming lounge! She is a delight to be around, always positive and inspiring. Etta always looks beautifully elegant and is never without her 4-inch high heels. Red lipstick frames her beautiful smile, eyes twinkling and sparkling as she remains present to life’s adventures!

As I look at them, I see how they glow, how much they are enjoying their lives. Yes, they have their moments of aches and pains, of loneliness, of wondering “what will happen”, of worry for their loved ones. But by and large, they display a triumph, a victorship, born of a savouring of each day and the gift it brings. As I look at them I see that being an “old woman” is a wonderful thing, something for me to look forward to! For these fabulous “old women” are free of attachment to the outward trappings of youth. They know that their beauty flows from inside out. They are truly beautiful.

Where am I now in my life? I too am in a place of freedom. I am in a place of loving my own company; of savouring my alone time as it is time spent with my favourite person! I do not “need” anyone. I am simply and deeply grateful for all the wonderful souls who touch my life whether for a moment, years, this or many lifetimes. They are my teachers. They are my travelling companions. They are in my life at my invitation.

I am in a place of having had enough years behind me to reflect on the learning and wisdom from my experiences, and enough years ahead of me to put into play a different way of being. I am in a place of knowing that years do not matter. I am in a place of not caring less, indeed at all, what others individually and societally think of me. I am in a place of simply living my own life as I choose.

WOW – What an Old Woman!