The Mind is an ally – really?

On the long flight from Toronto to Trinidad, en route to Guyana, I read “The Mind is an Ally” by Sakyong Mipham, in preparation for my “Meditation and Writing” summer intensive this week.

So many insights about mindfulness by this brilliant and generous man. I completed it with renewed resolve to meditate every day, no matter how busy I am. That’s the first step – sit mindfully and watch your breath, even if only for a moment. Every. day.

How interesting then as I reflect on my absolute lack of mindfulness on the flight from Trinidad to Guyana. I was in a snit as I found myself seated in an emergency exit row. UGGHHH. I like to have my bag at my feet so that I can access my reading material easily. When seated at an emergency exit you have to place all belongings in the overhead bin. So I asked for my seat to be changed – flight full I was told. By the time I organized myself to store my bags (slowly of course to show my disgust – to whom?), the bins were full, so they were placed somewhere in First Class (which really bugged me – why not just put ME in First Class?).

I huffed and puffed and made up my face as the airline stewardess was explaining what I would be required to do in an emergency. So “huffed and puffed” was I that she asked at one point if I understood English! Then to make matters worse, just prior to take off she returned to tell me that the neck pillow in my lap would have to be placed in the overhead bin. AAARGGHHH! Now I was really all caught up in anger and general frustation. So as retribution, when they came around offering refreshments, I gave a dirty look and waved them away dismissively.

Oh Marguerite …. What was that all about? Did I really think that my response mattered? Was it really worth anything for me to behave in this way? Where was the ease, grace and joy with which I try to live my life? Lost in unmindfulness. My mind and “I” were not allies during this experience. Indeed, by being unmindful, I separated myself from my Self, and got wrapped up in some “other” place, which was very uncomfortable.

I have replayed the scene as if I were the star in a movie. Quite a comedy. But that movie is over now. And so I laugh now and release the experience. Back to mindfulness, one breath at a time. My mind is an ally, but only if I choose to be mindful.