Laughing at the dirty dishes

Each Tuesday evening I teach a class at Ryerson University.  Whilst I enjoy the class immensely, I am quite drained by the time I arrive home.   Typically, I am ravenous, having not eaten since lunchtime.  The thought of relaxing in my warm kitchen, doggies at my feet, happily conversing with my children ushers me down the cold, windy street to home.

Last Tuesday, I opened my front door and headed to the kitchen …… to the sight of total chaos – dishes unwashed (from Sunday!) were still piled high, floor was unmapped and garbage bin was full to overflowing and not smelling too nice.  I was LIVID! Like the bulls running in Pamplona, I charged upstairs berating my children with each stomp of my feet, snorting venom and frustration.  Over and over I nattered, each time eliciting an equally angry and upset response from Victoria (whose duty it was to wash the dishes) but had already gone to bed, and Shane, who couldn’t understand why I was yelling at him.

Eventually I crashed into bed, awaking the next morning with a stiff neck and shoulders – and the dishes still unwashed.  My body was tense and knotted and my mind equally so.  I HAD to get myself out of this state – after all, isn’t it I who coach clients that “for things to change you have to change”? I calmly piled everything neatly into one side of the sink, determined that the dishes would remain until Victoria did her duty, but that at least I could make myself a cup of coffee.  Comforted by my coffee (yes it does comfort me) I dug deep into my arsenal of state breakers and remembered that there was a LAUGHTER YOGA session that very evening.

Lynn Himmelmann, the Laughter Yoga Leader, asked each of us to introduce ourselves by name and one thing on our minds – with laughter.  Well, the only thing on my mind was the dirty dishes!  As I told the story, laughing, I realized how ridiculous the whole scene was.   Ho ho ha ha ha …… I had spent almost 24 hours angry, frustrated, upset over ….. dirty dishes?  Ho ho ha ha ha …… My home was a warzone, with battle lines solidly drawn between me and my children over …. dirty dishes?  Ho ho ha ha ha ……..What craziness is that? Surely if I am going to argue and fight with my children it should be about something serious?  Ho ho ha ha ha …… In the one hour of laughing, my body unwound and my heart took over – moving to love rather than anger.    And I resolved to remain in that place, remembering that whatever the problem, whatever the question – love is the answer.

How delightful then to arrive home and find the kitchen spotlessly clean, my children calm and my home once more a sanctuary.

Of course the story does not end so happily ever after.  Since then, there have been quite a few nights of dirty dishes.  Now I just look at them, laugh and quietly move them to one side of the sink.  And they get washed – not necessarily according to my schedule, but washed nonetheless.

I take that back – this IS a happy ending after all, for I have been reminded of the insignificance of things and the importance of those I love.  And laughter, once again, has been my healer.  Ho ho ha ha ha