Doing life, cancer positive
April 30, 2010 by Marguerite Orane
Filed under Featured Posts, Free and Laughing, Love
Monique is the daughter of friends who I have watched grow from a child into adulthood. I have also watched her deal with a diagnosis of cancer. I have seen her at home, on television, in yoga class, at book readings, at church. And Monique is always smiling and positive. A few months ago, the cancer returned. Monique has shared the journey of her treatment with her Facebook community. We have been able to love, support, celebrate and laugh with her. And we have felt her love and laughter.
On Tuesday, Monique posted what I consider one of the most moving, inspiring and spiritual notes I have ever read. It moved me beyond words to a place of pure love and peace. I feel that Monique’s message MUST spread far and wide throughout the world for it can help so many people. I am helping in this by posting her note on this blog. Monique KNOWS what it means to be “free and laughing”. She is my teacher.
So here we go, first with the conversation between Monique and me, and then with her note:
Marguerite:
Monique – this is powerful beyond words! Thanks so much for sharing your experience – now I really GET what you mean when you post that you are “doing life”. Would you mind if I post on my blog? I think your message needs to get out to as many people as possible
Blessings, Marguerite
Monique:
Hey Marguerite,
I’m really, really glad you like the post. It was something I felt compelled to write because I didn’t feel that many people understood my experience of cancer. I kinda felt I had to “stick up for it” in some weird way *lol*
Please do feel free to share it with whomever you’d like. It would honour me.
♥
M
Marguerite:
Well, what it said to me is how empowered you are feeling – you are not “fighting cancer” you are learning from it. That’s a very good place to be in Monique. It sounds like peace ….. and for those of us who have watched you in this journey, it brings us peace too
Monique:
Absolutely, I’ve learned much from it about myself and about the world as I experience it over the past 7 years. Cancer is, effectively, my guru. I believe that our tendency to resist, pathologize and demonize things are what preclude the gifts that they bring, and if we believe that all is good and all is God, then it would behoove us to realise that inherent goodness. It’s a journey, and I’m not always successful at it, but, yes, I do find myself at greater peace than I have been in the past.
Thank you for your light, Marguerite 🙂
AND NOW, MONIQUE’S NOTE:
So, I understand where you’re coming from. I do. You all have had, or known someone who’s had, someone die from cancer or cancer-related complications, and you’re mad… cancer’s bad. I feel you.
Here’s the thing, though… it’s come to mean something different to me.
It has, in the words of Avalon, emptied “me of all the empty things that I hold on to” – like looks, and status, and, quite frankly, money. As a result, I could better experience the beauty, worth and generosity of others.
It has brought me (literally) to my knees with pain and made me wish to give up my life, but also to know that even the worst of pain doesn’t last forever, and neither does life, so there’s no need to rush, just to experience.
It has led me to question my own femininity – with the removal of one breast and the cessation of ovarian functioning – and to connect instead with the sacred feminine within myself and in all of existence… long live the Circle.
It has led me to question God, and then to discover God in, and as, everything (not something I can explain, just a personal experience).
It has connected me to my shadow, and with that the realization that it could only reveal itself because of the light that existed alongside it.
It’s taken me a while to get to this point, admittedly. Up until recently I wished to be “rid” of cancer so that I could “move on with my life.” I finally came to the understanding that Life is what I’ve been doing all this time. No doubt, this has been an alchemical journey – turning dross into something precious – and maybe that’s what makes me “Cancer Positive.”
Thanks for sharing. This was very moving and inspirational…
This is is truly, truly inspiring; too few of really get it though…it’s great that you are helping to share Monique’s message with the world, Marguerite. She has a lot teach us.
I was so moved by Monique’s Note….she has taught me so much by that simple phrase “Doing Life”. A reminder to let go and let God. Thanks and much love to Monique
This is really inspiring… with my own crisis looming around I understand what Monique means when she says… that she has questioned God… and yet she has discovered God.
The relationship you build with God in a time of crisis is quite complicated and many do not understand what questioning God means until they are faced with their own crisis. Questioning God is not about questioning His authority or His existence it is about trying to understand the change that has occurred and trying to figure out what is the next step. The discovering God happens when you learn to let go and let God and it doesn’t happen overnight… it is a journey.
Hi Syreeta – so happy you have found to comfort in this. All love and blessings to you – and know always, that “This too shall pass”
Thank you Marguerite for sharing Monique’s Message which has truly touched, moved and indeed inspired me. It has also given me closure. The last time that I saw Monique (Ashanti Oasis)she looked radiant and I told her so..this must have been around February of this year. Then two Fridays ago I received an email which spoke about the need to clear one’s aura periodically and it immediately took me back to 2003 when Monique caught me in a very angry mood and suggested that I needed to clear my aura. I thought about her the entire week-end, wondering how she was doing and remembering how happy she looked when I last saw her. The following Tuesday I had to do a medical procedure and when I stepped into the facility there was a poster of a young woman promoting life after breast cancer. The young woman looked like Monique!! I was so intrigued at the ‘coincidence’that I asked 3 different strangers to verify that it was indeed her but none of them could. Less than half an hour after leaving the facility I got a phone call that Monique was ‘travelling’. By Thursday she had flown. I would like to believe that somehow we made a ‘connection’ even as she was waiting to cross over and I hope she heard my goodbye message. Mahima was indeed a special gift and her wisdom will be with us to cherish for a very long time. Mahima..I’ll remember you every time I drink a cup of exotic tea or see a piece of art that moves me. Enjoy!!!
Dear Claudette,
From all you have written, it is clear that you and Monique connected – no coincidences at all. She was really such an inspiration about LIVING. the best we can do, to honour her memory, is to “do life” no matter what life hands us
Blessings
Marguerite
Thank you so much for sharing this Marguerite. In the last month we’ve been confronted with 2 friends, Howard and Monique, who have made their transitions while experiencing life through cancer. They both have so much to teach us about the journey of Life, and being present to the good being offered no matter how it looks. In their final hours on this plane, they both spoke about knowing God, and recognising God as Life eternal, pure Love, and how priveleged they felt. In the game of life, there is no big or little, disastrous or threatening, it’s just life happening. This is a most powerful reminder for us to surrender to the process of Life without judgement, or guilt, anger, or even expectation. To simply LIVE! Thank you.
Carol
Thanks for sharing some of Howard and Monique’s last sentiments. Life comes full circle – we are born knowing God and we die knowing God. What happens in between? Monique and Howard really showed us how to “DO LIFE” no matter what ..
All love and blessings to you
Marguerite
Marguerite, Monique’s words still and will continue to touch our hearts…for those of us here in the physical that misses her physical presence…we know her spirit lives on. THANK YOU!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for posting this. It really captures the essence of who she was. The spirit that she had continues to inspire us all. I am honored to have known her and been able to call her my friend.
Stacey – we all feel deeply honoured. And I am happy that so many of us expressed that to her while she was on this plane.
So true. She really touched so many lives to deeply with her grace and beauty – and reminded us to “do life” no matter what life does to you. I will never forget that