“They don’t really mean it”

As I adjust to living in Canada, one of the things I am noticing is how nice people are.  They smile, they connect in brief conversations, they hold the door open for me, they say “Cute doggies” to my three princesses when we are out for a walk, and so on – lots of little interactions that make me feel warm and welcome in  Canada.

BUT, I have been warned!  “Don’t be fooled by their niceness – they don’t really mean it”, advise folks who have lived here for some time.  My silent response is something along that classic closing line from the movie Gone With the Wind: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”.  For I don’t.  Why in the world would I waste one moment wondering if someone really means me to have a good morning when they say “Good morning”?   Why would I want to question the motive of someone who holds the door open for me?  Why would I doubt that the person who has stopped to pet my doggies genuinely thinks they are adorable?

Why would I assume that they don’t mean what they say?  How can I even prove whether someone is genuinely being nice or not? Why does it matter to us whether someone means something or not?  I cannot prove what is in someone’s head – and if I cannot prove it then what’s the point in spending time pondering it?  It’s a road to nowhere.

Actually, it’s a road to misery.  For when we allow thoughts like these to consume our lives, we are only making ourselves miserable.

I much prefer the free and laughing road.  Being free and laughing means that we graciously accept whatever niceties we are offered, and don’t worry about motivations and intentions.  We gracefully and graciously say “thank you” and move on.  If the person meant it, then that’s great.  If they didn’t mean it, then that’s great too – for it really is none of our business. It’s not our problem nor issue.  It is them being inauthentic and hypocritical.  They have the issue – not me.  I am free and laughing!  And in my moment of being authentically free and laughing, perhaps I have been able to dispel a doubt they may have had – of what my intentions were in responding so graciously and laughingly!

Today, dispense with your doubts.  Accept that people are nice to you because they want to be nice to you, for you are deserving and worthy of all the niceness in the world!