The Daisy mug
October 23, 2009 by Marguerite Orane
Filed under Featured Posts, Release
My mom’s name was Daisy. Marguerite, my name, is French for Daisy. I have always loved that she named me after her in a very unique way.
One Christmas Rev. John, her dear friend and spiritual advisor, gave her a beautiful mug with daisies on it. She loved that mug. And on her passing, I captured it, seeing it as a symbol of our mother-daughter bond. It is one of the few household things that I brought with me to Canada. I take special joy in sipping my first cup of coffee each morning from the daisy mug. I have a little ritual of coffee and quiet time – so similar to what Daisy used to do.
I had my coffee and quiet time this morning as usual – but without my daisy mug. For yesterday, it broke. “Oops. Sorry Daisy” I instinctively muttered as the mug crashed to the ground, landing in pieces. And then I laughed! For what was I apologizing to Daisy for? She has no need for the mug! And really, neither do I. For what’s important is not the mug but the memories of love – her joy upon opening her gift from John; my pleasure in brewing her the perfect cup of coffee and serving it to her in the mug; her gratitude for the coffee, the time at my home, her quiet space. And in Canada the memories continued – of opening the cupboard each morning and seeing the Daisy mug waiting to be filled; of sipping my coffee in my own quiet time; of reading and journaling with the mug by my side.
The mug has broken. I am laughing. For the love that formed the memories has not changed. Those are forever and for always.
PS: make sure to take up your coffee mug from your unmade bed once you are finished!!!!!!
Had that same experience with a Pooh Mug which was a gift from my son. Once I got over the initial “oh-shucks-its-broke”, I did end up laughing because I have my son, so what is a mug? I had enjoyed using and left it at that!
Even though the preview prepared me for the loss of your mother’s mug, my first response to the photo of it was “Oh Christ!”. I need more practice at being free and laughing.
Michelle – we all have that first “instinctive” response, which many times is our learned, habitual and unconscious behaviour. What’s important is what happens next – do we stay in that mode, or do we become aware of our thoughts and feelings and choose those that make us feel good? That’s when we are free and laughing. So, don’t worry – you already are practicing!