Creating amazing experiences

Over the past few months my sister and I have been clearing out my mother’s home of all her earthly belongings that she now has no use for. As we have painstakingly sorted through cupboards, drawers, cabinets, boxes and bags, we have had to make a decision for every single item – whether to keep, toss or give away – and to whom. As the garbage bags fill and accumulate, I have had this overwhelming emotion of “what is the point”? 

What’s the point of all the buying and accumulation of things – things that at the time seemed so important but that are now inconsequential clutter? Some things have significance – gifts that I had bought her on my travels, awards my brother received, accolades for my sister’s dancing, trinkets and artwork made by grandchildren, Christmas and birthday gifts carefully chosen over months of agonising “what shall I give Mummy to show her how special she is to me?” Again and again I realise that the real significance is not the thing itself but the love with which it was given – and received. It is the moment of exchange that was the gift, not the thing now discarded by Mummy and by us.

Months of filling garbage bags and boxes for the dumpster or donation have made me resolve that from now on my gift will be “amazing experiences” rather than things. I had two such experiences recently – one where I gave and the other where I received.

The first was the amazing experience I created to celebrate my daughter Victoria’s 16th birthday. She had stated early on that she did not want the usual Sweet Sixteen bash. As I am a birthday bunny, I set about creating an amazing experience for her, for such an occasion could never go unheralded. It took 3 months of planning and I pulled it off! It was a truly amazing “oh my gosh” experience – one that Victoria will never ever forget, and neither will I.

The second was for my own birthday a few days later. The day before, I offhandedly (but secretly hopefully) said to my sister “Let’s go to the beach in the morning”. Normally Carole would hesitate about a midweek beach jaunt, haunted no doubt by the myriad to-dos on her list. This time she agreed without a blink. “My treat” she said. Everything about that morning was magical – it’s as if the whole Universe conspired to make it simply amazing. We were greeted on arrival by smiling employees, who joked and laughed and allowed us to park in the restricted section (I told them it was my birthday). Then, as we crested the sand dunes, an expanse of blue water glistened and sparkled, rays of sun dancing on the calm, gently lapping surface as if saying “Happy birthday Marguerite” (photo above is the scene that greeted us). We were treated to the “first fish” of the day – fresh, fried to perfect, dry crispiness and washed down with a bottle of frosty Ting (a Jamaican grapefruit soda). Carole and I sat as sisters and best friends do, happy to revel only in each other’s company – a rare occurrence what with our busy lives and numerous family and work commitments. There could have been no better gift from her.

Reflecting on the joy of these experiences, for me as giver and receiver, I have resolved to do them even more. So, I muse: how do we create amazing experiences?

1. Dream – dream and dream BIG! There are no limits on our dreams. Nothing is impossible, and that “yes you can” create whatever you envision. Commit your dream to writing. This provides a record of your seeming insanity at the time, and allows you to read and reread so that over time, it actually becomes ingrained as your reality.

2. Discard – discard assumptions and beliefs about what is possible, acceptable, normal. Amazing experiences are about tapping into and claiming the magnificence of the Universe as your own. Manmade, societal beliefs only limit us – discard them.

3. Decide – really commit to doing it, despite the seeming obstacles. They are obstacles only in your mind. Worried about how much it will cost? Stop worrying, for worry only blinds us to the reality that we can find a way. I am always amazed at how much less our amazing experiences cost once we have decided and committed. Indeed, sometimes they are even free, as you open up to the numerous channels the Universe has provided for you to realise your good! Decide and commit.

4. Do it – just do it – regardless. Keep the dream front of mind. When I was planning Victoria’s amazing experience there wasn’t a day that I didn’t read my vision, think about it and plan for it.

The beautiful thing about giving an amazing experience is that you receive one as well – indeed, you receive it twice – once in the creation and planning and secondly in the manifestation. So, Victoria’s amazing experience was mine too, and my amazing experience was Carole’s. That in and of itself is an amazing experience – that you can give someone something, but that you receive it not once, but twice!

Today, dream about amazing experiences you can create for yourself and others and then set about creating them. The more we do it, the more our lives will become one big amazing experience! Sounds a bit like being free and laughing? That’s exactly what it is.