Advice for Oprah

“It’s about using food — abusing food. Too much work. Not enough play. Not enough time to come down. Not enough time to really relax.” Oprah Winfrey

When I read this yesterday, I e-mailed my close friends and family half-jokingly stating “Oprah needs to be free and laughing”. They all agreed, and of course, this got me musing.

What would it mean for Oprah to be “free and laughing”? Well, I really don’t know, for I am not Oprah. Each of us must define our own free and laughing beingness. What works for me, may or may not work for you, or for Oprah. My first thought was that if I had her money, it would be easy for me to be free and laughing. The things I would do with a net worth of US$2 billion! Too much work? Impossible, if I had that type of money (or even a fraction of it). Not enough time to relax? Madness! I would be relaxing all the time, a different beach every day!

And yet, it is obviously not that easy for Oprah to be free and laughing, to relax, to be present and enjoy life (and food). Oprah, like all of us, faces some challenges.

The same traits of determination, grittiness, commitment, focus that have made Oprah successful, powerful and incredibly wealthy, are now bedevilling her. It is one thing to change the things that we acknowledge are not enhancing our lives, but very hard for her, and us, to change the very things that have made us successful. It is counterintuitive, and we resist mightily. Oprah has also clearly gotten into habits, like all of us. It is her habit to work hard, to see opportunities, to pursue them, to make a difference. This is now her way of being – she knows no other way.

I love Oprah. I love what she is doing with her incredible gifts and talents. I love how she shows us that one person CAN make a difference. Now I want her to be really, really happy, to be free and laughing. She deserves nothing less. So, here’s what I say to Oprah:

1. Take my mom’s advice expressed in her now famous e-mail that inspired my book “Free and Laughing”: “I did have a good laugh with and at myself, giving thanks that I can see the funny side of life still and not caring what others think because I know it doesn’t matter at my age and should not have at any age either”. Laugh, don’t care, it doesn’t matter Oprah!

2. Find and eat the perfect Bombay mango just as I describe in the book. This is the essence of mindful eating. Indeed, if she eats each meal that way, she will have no weight problem at all!

3. Take some time to really observe whatever is happening around her, not through the eyes of the legions of staff members that she employs, but through her own eyes. And not with the intention of writing her next blog or article in “O” – but simply to observe for the joy of the moment

4. Release everything – ratings, opinions of others, commentary – whatever it is that anyone else has to say or think. It all doesn’t matter

5. Accept her beautiful self as she is. She is gorgeous! At whatever size and shape.

6. Laugh – a few minutes per day of laughter yoga, laughing for no reason at all, just for the joy of laughter, will soon have Oprah free!

Do any of these apply to you? Chances are they do. It’s not just Oprah, it’s all of us. We all have challenges and bad habits. We all do things to excess and get our lives out of balance. What I have said to Oprah I say to you – and, most importantly, to myself.