Public Enemy #1 – continued …

Since publishing the blog on “Public Enemy #1”, many people have responded with some version of “Good for you!” or “Marguerite, how did you do it?” Others have said “I don’t think I would have the guts”. “So, I thought I would share my “tips” on how to dispense with the TV.

First thing is to minimise the number of television sets in your home. We have one TV now. My elimination began with the TV set that was in my bedroom, prompted by my Feng Shui consultant who said, very matter-of-factly: “Marguerite, the bedroom is for two things only, and they both begin with S”. So, since “television” does not begin with “S” I figured that it had to go. This had great consequences – my bedroom became a sanctuary of quiet and peace, a place of reflection and meditation. I began to read much more. It became a gathering place for my children, dogs and me to talk, commune, hug and just be.

The next step is to minimise the hours of television that your children watch. This I started years ago by limiting viewing time during the week. They would occasionally request to watch a show during the week – this I allowed, but only after homework was completed. And since I banned them from TV during the week, I decided to set the example and not watch it myself. For once it was on, they would gravitate towards the couch, even CNN being more interesting to them than homework.

The final step is to make the decision – and to stick to it. In doing so, it is very important to be clear on why you are doing this, and to have a rational conversation with the children. “Because I am the mother and I say so” just won’t cut it. I also made it clear that we would try it, and that the decision could be reversed. You also have to offer some compromise – in my case, I promised that we would rent DVDs on the weekends. But you know what? They rarely ask anymore about this.

In the beginning I got every possible argument from them as to why the cable was so important. I listened quietly, smiled and said nothing. “Really?” or “Oh yes?” or “Uh huh” was pretty much all that emitted in response. For I did not plan to get into any discussion about it, having set the parameters.

Some readers have asked about computers. My children have their own laptops and they do use these to interact with friends, watch shows and do their homework (note order of priority). I sometimes wonder if they have replaced television watching with computer time. However, there is a fundamental difference – the computer is much more interactive and mindful than the TV so it does not have the same numbing effect. I am watching this situation, and Victoria and Shane know that if they abuse it, I will put limits on their laptop time.

Earlier, as I wrote this, my children were sitting in the kitchen talking. They had just came in from playing outside – Victoria taking photographs of Shane, and working out how they can make some money by selling the photos. As Victoria came through the door she said to me “Mummy, every evening Shane and I are going to go outside on the roof and take pictures. I guess we wouldn’t do this if we had cable. Although I still miss and want back the cable”. Yes Victoria, sometimes I miss the cable too. But the alternative is just wonderful!

In reflecting on my experience and how easy it turned out to be, it occurred to me that perhaps the most important thing is my integrity. I set the example – my television set was the first to go and I put limits on my own viewing. There is little to argue with when the person making the rules sticks by them. Things go a lot easier when one acts with integrity.