Releasing the flu

Last Wednesday, I felt an itching in my throat that signalled the beginning of the flu. Interestingly, I had taken my children to the doctor days before. On leaving his office, he cautioned me to be careful, to take care of myself, as it could be my turn next. That seed sown, within a few days, it started to sprout. By Thursday morning, I was a weary bundle of coughs, sneezes, sniffles, snuffles and watery eyes.

HA! I thought – no problem. I will soon banish this flu from my body and life, for I believe that we have dominion over our bodies and that we can create and discreate any condition in the physical realm. That’s the theory. Now to the practice. The first step was to notice myself – thoughts, words, feelings and actions. And here is what I found:

I was happy to have an excuse not to do things. When my daughter asked me to prepare something for her, I so easily could say “Not now Victoria, I am not feeling well”. When Shane asked if his friend could sleep over, my reply “Not tonight Shane, I am not feeling well at all” was sufficient. That was the end of the discussion. They quickly accepted, when there might otherwise have been protestations and pleading. Life as a mom was certainly a lot simpler.

I was happy with the attention. A bout of coughing or fit of sneezing was met with concerned looks and admonitions to take care of myself. On Saturday night after I crawled into bed in a half-daze, I awoke to Victoria holding the inhaler to my nostrils and then rubbing my feet with Vicks and putting my socks on! How delicious being sick is, I thought, as I burrowed into my comforter and floated off to sleep.

I struggled with what to say when people asked “How are you?” To state “fine” in a voice struggling to emerge from coughing fits and sniffles, was to tell an obvious lie. Or was it? Further explanation in the form of “I am fighting the flu” stuck in my throat. For as I started to think it, I realised that what I fight, I actually attract. So, I resorted to “I am releasing the flu”. That too did not sit well with me, for I thought, if I am in the process of releasing, could I still be holding on to it?

OH! This consciousness thing is really quite something! It is not easy. It requires constant awareness and vigilance. It is not just about noticing though – it is also about making choices – what do I think, say or feel instead of what I used to think, say or feel?

Last evening as I walked into my yoga class I started coughing. My yoga teacher noticed and said sympathetically “You are not well?” “I am perfect” I responded. And do you know, I went through the entire class without coughing or sneezing?