We live in a trusting world
December 29, 2006 by Marguerite Orane
Filed under Trust
As I watched the plane taking my children from Jamaica to Trinidad take off on Wednesday, it occurred to me that we live in a trusting world. Imagine the level of trust that I displayed in putting my sweet babies on a plane by themselves to take them safely to Trinidad.
How totally I trusted the pilot; how totally I trusted all the people who built that plane, all the people who maintained it, all the people who checked them in, boarded them and took care of them on the flight. How totally I trusted that all the air traffic controllers were having a good day. How totally I trusted that their brother would be at the airport in Trinidad to meet them – how totally I trusted that all traffic obstacles were absent so that he would be there on time. How totally I trusted that everyone who ever had anything to do with their journey were doing the right thing at the right time to make their passage safe, easy and successful. The whole universe worked perfectly yesterday to get my children to Trinidad. And I totally trusted the process and everyone in it.
Every instance of our life on this planet is one of immense trust. Just think how trusting we are that we go to bed at night and that the sun will rise. We can even predict the exact time of sunrise years, even millennia, into the future. There is a certainty about the way the Universe works that inspires us to trust deeply, without thinking, in an absolute way. There are certain things we know that we do not question.
Whether we trust or not, the sun will shine. To believe otherwise is simply not to live. Further, if the sun manifested our lack of trust, then it would not rise and we would all be dead in short order – for we cannot live without light! So it is that we cannot live without trust. And trust is entirely up to us.
So where does distrust come from? We often hear people say that they don’t trust anyone. Well, that’s not true – we DO trust. Even the simple act of getting out of bed and making coffee is one of trust – we trust that those making the percolator knew what they were doing and designed and put the machine together properly; we trust that the farmers who grew the coffee used the right fertilizer and herbicides; we trust that those who processed the coffee roasted it correctly, packaged it aseptically and got it to our kitchen without hazardous incident.
Most often we speak of distrust in the context of intimate relationships. Women don’t trust men, men don’t trust women. Coming from this place, we then seek ways of justifying our distrust. And of course, what we seek, we find. But issues of distrust or lack of trust come entirely from ourselves. They come from our small “self”, our ego – that part of us that is fearful, negative and withdrawn. When we trust, it is a simple act of trusting our Self. Trust has nothing to do with anyone else but our Selves. We are the ones doing the trusting. When we say that we don’t trust someone, we are the noun (subject) doing the action (trusting) in relation to the object (the person we say we don’t trust). Who is the active party here?
To manifest the trusting relationship we say we want, we must trust. Just as we trust the workings of the Universe, we must trust the workings of our own universe (which is one and the same). Do we really believe that the power that manifests the grandeur and intricacy of the Universe would NOT manifest such grandeur and intricacy in our lives? If we can trust that something as big as the sun will shine each day, if I can trust strangers with my precious children – why can’t we not trust our intimate partner?
Well, you may say, experience. “I trusted someone once, and I got hurt. They betrayed my trust”. Is that the truth? You trusted someone once to do something that you wanted them to do. Was that what they wanted? Did they commit to that? You trusted someone with your own expectations and desires. And those expectations and desires are yours – not theirs. That experience was entirely yours.
I have found that it is easy to say “I trust you” to someone, and in the moment of saying it, truly believe it. It is an entirely different thing to actually live as if I trust that person. It requires a constant awareness and observation of feelings and vigilance over thoughts and actions. It requires a level of conscious behaviour where every moment is one of conscious choice – of choosing to be aware of choosing Self over self. It requires that before each action we say to ourselves “If I live as if I trust this person, what do I choose to do?” And then choose that. Note again – your choice to live as if you trust has NOTHING to do with the actions of the other person! However, if you do this and you find that the actions of the other person are not in harmony with yours, then simply remove yourself from the situation – with trust that all is well in the Universe.
This approach may sound practiced, false, not genuine – and it may feel forced for awhile. But what’s the alternative? It is to continue to live a life of not trusting people. It is to continue to live a life of discomfort and fear. If we choose to practice living trust, after awhile we will find that we are able to trust people the way we trust the Universe – without question. And then, we will be able to go to bed at night with an inner knowing that we live in a trusting world – all of it.
I see that you use terminologies of trust, belief, action as you write/record your thoughts – retrofitting manifestation of blind trust within the fabric of your thought – seen in the light of trust in others – their ability to do their jobs .
For me one of my great struggle was that of understood belief, hope faith and trust – both in terms of meaning as well as ordering –in terms of hierarchal control of my inner self and my thought driven outcomes of words , activities – which you term action.
The interaction and interrelationship of trust and, human life and the act of living can never be adequately explained by conceptual ideas, studied actions or scientific dogma. Explainable are certain consequences of believing in so far as they externalize themselves and take shape in outer witness to ones trust – lending credence to the conceptual notion born of ones belief.
Still it is through retrofitting of ones life that manifestation of ones inert ability to trust ones thought and its manifestation – First there was the thought and the thought became word and from the word things created. My dear you speak of one having trust – is it in trust of others or is it in a trust of ones own judgment – a judgement built on notion of inner trust/faith/belief that you will get it right – listening to that inner voice which is of itself a manifestation of trust.
On the matter of distrust – I too find that this is a creature of our on construct often built on a notion of other people’s inability to live up to our expectations. BUT then I often practice the notion that trust is personal and internal – even when one says I don’t trust him/her what it is really saying is that my inner self/gut-feelings tells me that that which is seen is not the real. The notion is that one does not put their trust in others – but rather the trust that one will make the right decision.
As I read your writing of the plane the pilot nature and you sending off your kids – I try to interpose it with my own notion on dealing with life – because I find , it is easy to talk of having ,faith, trust or praying but the hard part is saying what “it” entails. So for my take – I simply say life is but circumstances – presenting themselves at different times in different shapes – We as inspired individuals must trust that we will have what is necessary to make the right judgement and the right action. This leads me to the point of trust and action :
“your choice to live as if you trust has NOTHING to do with the actions of the other person! However, if you do this and you find that the actions of the other person are not in harmony with yours, then simply remove yourself from the situation – with trust that all is well in the Universe”.
For this my dear I can but say any action that one may adopt based solely on the action of another person – is not an action – but rather a re-action – creating a status in which the individual who initiated the original action is the controller of your action – If you do not react but rather act based on your inners self trust judgment – then as you say the universe remains the same as was –rather than being subjected to state of perpetuation of reactions!!!!
Well I think that was – a bit plenty – again I am a bit rusty – have not been replenishing my inner self much – thanks for the appetizer.
JBH