Tuesday, February 20, 2018


October 18, 2013 by  
Filed under Featured Posts, Release

One of the sagest pieces of advice I ever received was from the reknown transformational guru Anthony Robbins. In a seminar I attended he said, “Never question someone’s intentions”. When we question others intentions, all we are doing is making up our own stories about what we think their intentions are. We are trying to make meaning of their behaviour, by figuring out what’s behind it. It is impossible for us to know what someone else’s intentions are. Intentions are the purview of inner thoughts – places where we cannot go. We can ask them outright what their intentions are but we may not get the truth.

How important is it to know what someone’s intentions are? When someone hurts us physically or emotionally, does it matter what his or her intentions are? What really matters is their behaviour. If someone hits me, I really have no interest in knowing if they plan to kill me, think they are showing love or just want to teach me a lesson. All I know is that I need to get away as fast as possible. If someone betrays me, I really don’t need to know their intentions – all I know is that I will no longer trust them based on their behaviour. Trying to discern someone’s intentions gets in the way of us taking action on the only thing we know for a fact – what we observed.

Releasing the need to figure out people’s intentions is liberating. I started practicing it right after the Tony Robbins seminar in a very simple way. I stopped questioning the intentions of beggars. When a beggar asks me for money, I do not waste time wondering if he/she is going to spend it on drugs. If I have the money and feel to give it, I do. If I don’t, I give a smile. And most times, I get a smile right back at me.


3 Responses to “Intentions”
  1. Olivene says:

    Hi Marguerite,

    I need to think about this some more, because I’m not sure that I agree that it is not important to think about someone’s intentions. The truth is that what the person intended can be a mitigating circumstance on the judgement that I place on his or her actions. It is true that I may not get the truth if I ask about these intentions, but if I consider the person’s track record I may feel fairly confident about what they say or what I think their intentions might have been. This will in turn, affect MY behaviour and that behaviour is the only thing about which I am truly responsible in this life.


  2. Marguerite Orane says:

    Hi Olivene

    Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, good to ponder. To expand further, when we don’t question intentions, then we release judgement and act based on the behaviour that we observe. I have found this approach to be liberating as I get great clarity and focus for my actions. Just my view.

    Blessings and hugs to you too!



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