Minding Tiger’s business

For the past two weeks, all sorts of things have been happening in the world – the USA is sending more troops to Afghanistan, there is a climate change conference in Denmark which most world leaders are attending; the atrocities in Darfur, Myanmar and other places continues; the economic crisis shows no signs of being over and a multitude of other earth-shaking issues.  Yet what is consuming the news?  Tiger Woods and his relationship troubles.

I must admit that I have got caught up in it.  I can’t resist a quick peek at the latest breaking news of Tiger and his peccadilloes.  Oh it is so juicy!!!!!  I never followed Tiger’s golf career, but I find myself quite interested in his marital and extramarital affairs.

Now, of what business is it of mine whom Tiger has chosen to be intimate with?  Of what business is it of mine the state of his marriage?  Why do I care?  Actually I don’t.  For if I really cared about him, I would send him love and blessings, stop reading all the drama and most importantly stop discussing it.  As of this moment, I am done with Tiger.  I let him be.

However, there are some lessons here. The fundamental issue is how much of our time we spend minding other people’s business.  Our own lives are a disaster zone of Katrinic proportions, yet we become consumed and obsessed by the antics of the most insignificant “celebrity”.  Don’t we have our own business to mind?  Don’t we have enough stuff going on in our own lives that needs attention?  Yet we spend hours focusing on other people’s business rather than fixing our own.

I wonder why we do this.  One reason is to escape.  If we feel we are trapped and have no choice about our situation, then one way of dealing with it is to focus on something else.  It is a form of denial.  “Maybe”, we reason unconsciously, “if I distract myself with something else, my problems will go away”.  Doesn’t work.  For when we are done reading and discussing the salacious details, our business remains unfixed.  The problems are still there.

Another reason is comfort.  “Hah!” we say, “I thought I had problems – but look at so-and-so!  Now that is a messy life”.  And for a moment we feel better.  For there is someone worse off than we are.  What we fail to realize is that the state of so-and-sos life does not matter and has no impact on our own lives.  Our problems remain.

All of this is most counterproductive to our lives.  There can be no forward movement if we participate in this kind of behaviour.  For it is not love.  It is the most base of emotions of envy and vindictiveness.  When we are expressing these negative emotions for others, we are subconsciously expressing them for ourselves, which is why our problems remain unfixed and our lives remain challenged.  If you don’t want that, then the next time someone comes to you and says “Have you heard the latest about T….r?” respond with a “No, and I am not interested”.  Then proceed to mind your own business.