Those we love never die

“Those we love never die; they live on in our hearts forever”

Yesterday I was poignantly reminded of my favourite words of comfort to those whose loved ones have died. My beloved nephew Kyle, whose dad Pablo passed from this plane of existence 5 years ago, invited his family to accompany him to visit his father’s grave. This was his preferred way of celebrating his 16th birthday.

As I gazed at the headstone marking Pablo’s “final resting place”, I felt no sadness. For I know deeply that Pablo lives on forever. When I look at Kyle, I see that Pablo has not died – he lives on as a beloved part of our family. When I hear Kyle speak, I hear strains of Pablo’s joyful, booming voice, and upbeat, energetic, loving words. Pablo comes to me many times as a memory, and yet I know it is not a memory of the past but a real experience in the present. At that moment, the one moment, Pablo lives. Memories are such powerful things, for they bring the experience of the past into the present. And so a beautiful memory becomes a beautiful experience right now, at the moment it is recalled. A memory is not something out there – it is something present, within us, reminding us that all our experiences are us, now and for all time.

And so, with memories of Pablo, I realise that there is no sadness in death when we know the eternality of life, of love. How appropriate that as we gathered to formally honour Pablo, and the gift he has given us for the past 16 years in the incarnation of Kyle, the song that I chose “randomly” on my Ipod was “Love will always be there” by Third World. There is no sadness in death when we know that love is always there.

There is no sadness in death when we know that a simple memory brings the life of our beloved into our present experience. There is no sadness in death when we know that everyone we have loved is forever with us. There is no sadness when we know that we are all one, when we know that those we love can never die, for those we love are us.

I shed a few tears yesterday, but they were not tears of sadness. They were simply tears of release of emotions of thanksgiving and love, knowing that “love will always be there”