The Power of NO

In our quest for manifesting our magnificent potential, we are told to be clear in our intention and to state it positively. “YES” is a very powerful word in anchoring our intentions and signalling to the Universe that YES! We are ready.

And yet, we often find that no matter how many times we say “YES – this is what we want”, our desires do not manifest. So, we say “YES” more times, more often and with greater conviction – yet still, our desires do not manifest.

It occurs to me that there is a flip side to “YES” that is just as powerful. It is the ability to state a firm, unequivocal “NO”. For most of us, saying NO is a very, very difficult task. We have been brought up to believe that “NO” is inappropriate. Think back to your toddler years, or just think of toddlers with whom you interact. They are always saying NO! They say it with the greatest conviction and power. They are immovable. Adults respond to their NOs in a very negative way. What starts out as a simple NO becomes a battle of force, power and control, with the adults feeling that they MUST win. An array of tactics are brought into play – cajoling, bribing, threatening, even physical force – until the toddler is subdued, often in tears. Repeat this often enough, and the toddler learns that NO is a naughty, naughty thing. The lesson is: if we want to get things in life, we need to be nice. Saying NO is a no-no.

This continues throughout our formative years. Girls in particular suffer from the inability to say NO. For we are taught to please men, be nice, don’t anger them by refusing them anything. Say YES and life is peaceful. By the time we get to adulthood, we have accepted and internalised the belief that saying NO is not a wise thing.

And so we get to a point in our lives where we are in utter confusion. For our desires, the things we say YES to, are just not happening. The problem is that we have not been clear on what we are saying NO to. What are the things that we don’t want in our lives? Who are the people with whom we do not wish to interact? What are the feelings we do not want to experience? What are the things that are Not On (NO) for us? When we get clear on these, we can then say NO – firmly and unequivocally. Saying YES is important – but only if we are clear on what we are saying NO to! How firm and powerful is our NO? A firm YES resting on weak and fuzzy NOs will give us weak fuzzy results. A firm YES resting on powerful NOs will get us the results we have said YES to. Saying NO in this way creates space in our lives for our YES to manifest. We have signalled to the Universe very clearly that there are no blockages, no hindrances, and no “stuff” blocking our YES!

Let’s see how this works. In the area of money, we may state that YES! We want financial independence! Yet, all we get are more bills and debt. What are we saying NO to? Perhaps nothing. For if we really want financial independence, then we must be clear that we are saying NO to: that cute pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes, the new spring line of Coach handbags, the brand new BMW, the luxury cruise. Now, those things are great and are worth saying YES to – but we must be clear to the Universe what our NOs are. For example, if I say NO to debt , then the Universe will not bring me that letter from the bank offering me the 24-hour turnaround loan facility, 100% financing, no money down, on that fabulous luxury car! And the Universe will NOT send me a pre-approved credit card, with no limits, no finance charges, accepted anywhere in the world in any currency! Oh NO! The Universe, hearing my unequivocal NO will only bring me opportunities to manifest my desires in ways that are consistent with my intention for financial independence. Our NO indicates the price we are willing to pay for our YES. The weaker the NO, the higher the price!

This principle works in all areas of our lives. Take our love relationships. Most of us have a clear intention to manifest the man or woman of our dreams. We can describe this person in intimate detail, sure that the greater the detail, the more certain we will be that he/she will appear in our lives. Everywhere we go, our antennae are tuned in to the search. And yet – frustration – for what turns up are the same old mates that turned up in the past – sometimes in new bodies, sometimes the same old ones. We know that this is not what we want, and yet we fail to say a strong, firm NO!

NO! I will not go out with you again!
NO! I will not see you again “for old time’s sake”!
NO! I do not wish to be in a relationship with you!
NO! I will not bide the time with you until Ms./Mr. Perfect appears!

When we can say these things, when we can be firm and clear in our NO, then we will have told the Universe that we are clear about our YES. When we say NO like this, we become like the toddler – powerful and immovable. We feel a difference in our bodies, and our very being because we will have come to place where our NO is in full alignment with our YES.

The Universe always says YES! The YES of the Universe is in direct relation to the conviction with which we state our intention. The greater the alignment of our YES and our NO, the more powerful, immediate and direct is the YES of the Universe. The Universe always says YES! The question is – what are we saying NO to?